That being said, I am aware the review itself is pretty longwinded, so probably only fellow funkateers will be interested.  It’s more for my own memory’s purpose.  Enjoy!

A few short years ago, I was completely unaware of the musical style & intergalactic phenomenon known as The Funk.  I had only recently discovered jazz, and was puttering along through the first year of my Bachelor of Music.  Then, through some fortuitous circumstance, I met the one who I would later come to call my Brother In Funk – Jimmy James.  I was in dire need of a housemate, and shortly after meeting Jimmy, he moved in.  A tall & charismatic figure with long blonde hair, he had the appearance of a bit of a rocker – and he was – leather jackets & band t-shirts aside, he was a guitarist at the Conservatorium whose electric guitar playing close to 24 hours a day very nearly drove me insane.  But there was a large part of Jimmy which was not rocker, it was something related, yet altogether different.  He would dance in the kitchen, pose in doorways, and pull some truly extraordinary faces.  Jimmy James had The Funk, and proceeded to introduce me to it.

It didn’t take long for me to learn of Jimmy’s obsession with a certain purple-clothed funkster named Prince. I watched in amazement as he showed me videos of Prince performing live – the outrageous sexuality, blinding outfits, and sheer explosive energy completely blew me away.  I’d never seen anything like it.  A common sight around The House Of Funk, as it came to be known, was me with my poor innocent little mouth hanging open in shock at the lyrics coming from the speakers in Jimmy’s room.  More arresting than the sex, the show, and the shock factor, however, was the groove that laid under it all.

When Jimmy played me some Parliament for the first time, it was like being punched in the  gut, in the very best way.  I was hooked from that moment on.  My hips were never the same again.  I grooved around the kitchen with Jimmy, and leapt around my bedroom like a mad thing when I was alone.

It took a while, however, for me to truly become immersed in The Funk.  Jimmy moved out eventually, and continued to pass me the occasional new song, but it was only from halfway to the end of last year that I started to really commit to the groove.  Jimmy & I started spending a lot more time together, he introduced me to more artists like D’Angelo, Erykah Badu, Me’Shell Ndegeocello.  We got the wheels turning on finally getting together the funk band we’d been talking about for so long.  Jimmy had taken up bass, and that was that. I was a devoted funkateer, heart, soul, & booty.

While there are two or three groups around Hobart who provided me with the tidbits of funky acid jazz, or funky rock, I didn’t have much of a chance to experience true live funk.  I saw Lowrider at MS Fest early this year, who doled out a generous portion of low-down, funky, hip-hop-tasting groove.  But the highlight so far has been this past Monday – when I saw Dr Funkenstein himself, George Clinton & his Parliament-Funkadelic mob, at the Palace Theatre in Melbourne.

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I was super excited when I heard that the P-Funk were coming to Melbourne, booked my ticket right away, & straightened out my enormous bright purple flares.  However, my funk brother declined to come with me, which at first I was perplexed by, but he had a point.  George Clinton is getting on a bit – at nearly 70, and after a life full of music, touring, & copious amounts of various substances… when I spoke to my friend & fellow funkateer Bob, he mentioned that he’d seen footage of a fairly recent P-Funk gig wherein George pretty much just sat on the stage nodding his head the whole time.  I understood this might be the case, but I was sure the band would be awesome nonetheless, having heard that it consisted of partly some of the old funkers from way back when, and partly of young blood.  Still, knowing relatively little about the group, having heard hardly any Funkadelic and not even a huge amount of Parliament, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the gig.

The poster advertised 3 hours of groove.  I prepared myself to dance like I’d never danced before.  The Palace Theatre is lovely, roomy without losing intimacy, and just the right amount of old-fashioned.  The house music included Prince, Stevie Wonder, & Michael Jackson – promising.  It was a pretty good turnout. I was interested to see who the audience would be, and I was pleased to see a large amount of young people like myself, as well as those obviously longtime diehard funkateers from way back.  There was the occasional Parliament or Funkadelic t-shirt (including my own – the Maggot Brain cover one, with the eternal slogan on the back – “Free your mind, and your ass will follow!”) as well as a few small pockets of people in bizarre outfits including clown costumes, smiley-face onesies, shiny star-studded capes, bear hats, etcetera.

I don’t have a good memory for details such as which songs the band played or that kind of thing, but this is what I do remember.

The male lead singer was amazing – seriously one of the best singers I have ever heard.  He sounded a lot like the voice on the recordings I’ve heard, but seemed too young to have been the one who originally recorded the stuff.  There were two gorgeous girl BV singers, shakin’ it & generally enjoying themselves, who were mad soloists in their own rights & each got a moment to shine.  There were numerous other musicians, and a few guys who sang or took a turn riling up the audience. George’s granddaughter came onstage and did a fantastic rap.  And then there was the great man himself – who, to my delight, did not just spend the whole time sitting and nodding, but was almost constantly up the front, singing, leading, directing the band occasionally, and just generally being a presence.  Sure, his voice these days is completely shredded, and you gotta listen a little harder to understand what he’s saying, but he was there, he was having fun, and he made a connection.

I was surprised that I hardly noticed horns but for one sax at one point.  I was also surprised that the bassist spent the entire time hiding over near the drums – bass being such a huge element of funk, I was expecting him to get some spotlight, but hey, I guess he was doing his job well & just sittin’ on it.

I may be slightly biased, but I’d say that the biggest star, performance-wise, of the evening was possibly the character known as Sir Nose D’Voidoffunk, played by one Carlos McMurray.  I say I may be slightly biased, because I spent a  generous amount of time feeling him up… but I’ll get to that.

As per the P-Funk mythology, Sir Nose first appears (in enormous, white, furry pimp hat & matching jacket & flares) claiming he’s “too cool to dance”, attempting to discourage the audience from clapping or dancing or singing, as George eggs us on.  It was particularly exciting for me to see the manifestation of one of these hilarious characters I’d sung about so often… this was really like being back in the heyday of P-Funk, with all the theatrics.  And Sir Nose certainly did deliver in that department.  As the Bop Gun gets to him & he gets in touch with his inner funkiness, the nose comes off, as does the jacket and the hat, and BOY, can he ever DANCE.  I’ve never seen muscles like that in my life, and especially not muscles that can MOVE like that. Undulations were his mind-bending speciality, complimented by handstands, bends, and other such feats. He climbed the stacks of speakers at the side of the stage, did handstands on them, and spent the rest of the evening jumping & climbing all over everything, dancing, showing off his abs, and generally being ridiculously sexy.

Shortly after his first appearance, Sir Nose picked one girl out of the audience & they spent a song or two gyrating around each other.  I inched my way closer & closer to the barrier at the very front, hoping all the eye contact I’d been making with the BV singers might score me a similar honour.  And I wasn’t disappointed!  Later on in the show, he started looking out into the audience again, & pointing to a few people.  The male singer who I’d shared lots of smiles with leaned out & pointed me out to Sir Nose.  A group of girls & myself were led up the stairs at the side, and then led onto the stage by Sir Nose.  There was one girl in front of me, but she shied away when he put his hand out behind him to lead us on, so I stepped in and took it.  The next amazing few minutes were some of the best of my life – dancing onstage with George Clinton & his P-Funk mob, smiling at my fellow fortunate funkateers, grinding (!) with the droolworthy Sir Nose, and looking out over the sea of people dancing, singing, cheering, & waving their hands in the air. This is the stuff funky dreams are made of.

I think the thing which impressed me the most about the show was how much the whole band seemed to really care about their audience & made a huge effort to connect with us & make sure we were having a good time.  The BV singers were constantly making eye contact, pointing at people, winking, flirting with the audience.  There was heaps of audience participation of course, clapping & singing, and the other singers & crowd-rilers would hold the mic stands down for people in the front row to sing into, or lean down and fist-bump us.  During a certain song involving the words “SOMETHING STANK AND I WANT SOME”, people in the audience were lighting up joints & passing them to the guys on stage, who would take a few tokes, pass them around, and then pass them back into the crowd.  The security at the venue were very good-natured about these antics.

The best example of this genuine care for the crowd was when a guy was pulled out of the pit by security – I’m not sure what he did, but he was pulled out by a couple of guards & taken over to one side of the barrier. The music continued, but one of the singers ran over after them to make sure he was okay.  Later on, after the first girl was taken up onstage but before I & the others got up, one dude decided it was a good idea to stand on the barrier & jump from there to the stage.  Security were onto him pretty quick and he was dragged down & off, but again they were chased – this time by the badass-looking chick on guitar – who made the effort to shake the guy’s hand & make sure he was okay.

How many bands do you see going to that much trouble to make their audience feel included & cared about? And I think that’s the true essence of the community that revolves around The Funk.  The music is all about feeling good, acceptance, dancing, being in touch with your inner groove, your body, the real things in life – above all, having good times with good friends.  The atmosphere at the gig was so positive.  I went up to a few groups of people afterwards & introduced myself, made some friends straight away… and while I’m the kind of person who does that anyway, it really was the kind of evening where anyone could do that.

While the show clearly wasn’t anywhere near what the Mothership Experience would’ve been like back in the heyday of the P-Funk, it was definitely the best gig I’ve been to yet, a big ol’ party of love and groove and The Funk.  Thankyou, George, Sir Nose, and all the others – all my love, from the girl in the purple pants.  <3

THE BEST:
The most amazing brownie I have ever tasted, hands down, I bought from the C&C Cupcake Factory stall at the Farmer’s Market (held in the carpark opposite Chado on Elizabeth St every Sunday).  They looked good, so I tried a piece of the sample.  My mind exploded.  I had to have one of these brownies.  I bought one and waited til I had time to enjoy it.  I took a full ten minutes to devour this brownie, savouring every mouthful.  IT WAS LIFECHANGING.

I didn’t know brownies this good could exist!  If you try one of these brownies, your taste of heaven will involve dark chocolate, nuts, and fruit – an elitist brownie connoisseur, I am generally not fond of fruit in my brownies, but OH LORD it is perfectly balanced.  These brownies are not overly sweet, incredibly chocolatey without it being overpowering, cooked to perfection – slightly crisped on the outside, amazingly moist on the inside.  Something about the taste of them tells you they were made with care & love.  Get up early on a Sunday, do yourself a favour, and go buy one of these brownies.  You will not regret it.  I warn you, though, once you’ve had one of these, the bar will be raised…

OTHER GOOD BROWNIES ETC.
- The great quality gluten-free brownies at health food store Eumarrah are well and truly worth your hard-earned $3.20.   Deliciously moist & perfectly chocolatey.
-  The hedgehog slices at Drifter’s in Salamanca are crunchy, sweet, & delicious.  Great texture & taste.

…MORE TO COME.

Prices.  In a world where a dodgy ham & cheese sandwich will cost you $5 in most places around town, and any run-of-the-mill salad roll will generally be upwards of $7, ReadyLunch will make you an awesome sandwich, pide, foccacia, wrap, or roll, with basically whatever you want, for $5.95.  This is what got my attention in the first place.

Tasty food, made your way. Their toasted sandwiches/pides/foccacias/wraps are some seriously tasty eating. The reason they’re good – obviously the ingredients are good quality & fresh, and they’re made well, but the best reason is that you put the sandwich together yourself.  Sure, there are other sandwich places which let you pick your own ingredients,  but Ready Lunch use a handy little form.  Pick a meat, pick 5 other fillings, condiments, decide on pide/foccacia/sandwich/wrap/roll, fresh or toasted… the options are varied & put together expertly to make a truly delicious & satisfying lunch.

Tasty drinks. I’m not a big coffee person, but the coffee sure tastes good to me, and the framed paper napkins on the wall written on by more connoisseur-minded sing its praises. I recommend a cappuccino with a caramel shot!  The “ice blends” are my favourite thing to cool my mouth when I have some hot jalapenos in my sandwich.  They’re my favourite iced chocolates in town, because they’re more icy than they are milky, which leaves me feeling less over-full and less guilty – but they still use ice cream as well as ice, unlike some places, which makes them super tasty.

Nifty extras.  ReadyLunch are one of the few places in town which offer wi-fi (wireless internet) and that makes them automatically one of my favourite places to go.  As I said in my previous post, Hobart cafes really need to get their act together and get into the 21st century, because when I’m toting around my laptop, or even just my iPod touch, (especially at the moment when I don’t have internet at home), a cafe with wi-fi becomes a lot more attractive than one without.

The way you order your food is also very cool.  ReadyLunch’s handy forms make deciding on fillings much easier & quicker.  Just tick the boxes next to what you want, and there are plenty of options.  There’s also another way to order – online!  At readylunch.com.au, you can pre-order your sandwich online the day before, and select a time to pick it up.  I haven’t personally used this service yet, but I can imagine it being very handy for the busy Hobart worker on limited lunchbreak time.

And finally, ReadyLunch has a great atmosphere, friendly staff, comfy seating, newspapers, magazines… anything you could want for a nice place to spend your lunchtime.  Pick up one of their loyalty cards, because if you’re anything like me… you’ll be back for more!

www.readylunch.com.au
Shop 6, Wellington Walk, just off Elizabeth Mall

I was wrong.

I spent nearly a whole hour wandering around the CBD carrying my laptop & backpack, becoming increasingly desperate.  I could not find one single place that had wi-fi, and it baffled me.  For smaller & more traditional businesses, I can understand a lack of wi-fi.  But even at the places I consider to be trendy, modern cafes, there was no internet to be found.  Not at stylish Dukkah.  Not at Oomph, the beloved home of The Secret Lab.  Not even at the hip Criterion St Cafe.  Then I thought maybe at the Fullers Afterword Cafe, a cafe in a bookshop, I might have a hope.  Nope.  In desperation I went to Hudsons, thinking that although I didn’t feel enthused about breakfast there, they would surely have wi-fi.  But no luck!  The Open Sauce Internet Cafe was not open yet.  What to do??

I thought I had found my oasis at Zuba, which I had forgotten about until a kind person in the Aubergine Cafe reminded me of its existence.  Of course!  They’re an internet cafe!  I came in and happily ordered some food before being informed that their wireless was broken.  There was a cord available I could plug into my laptop, but unfortunately it was only on one side of the cafe – in direct sunlight.  It was a hot day, and I was already considerably hot & bothered, and did not want to sit in the sun and squint at my laptop screen.  I cancelled my order and left.

Finally as a last resort I headed to my favourite lunch spot – Ready Lunch in Wellington Walk, off Elizabeth Mall.  I thought that if they didn’t have internet, at least I could get some nice food.   Imagine my joy when I enquired with low hopes about whether they had wi-fi, and was told they did!  I enjoyed two toasted ham, cheese & tomato sandwiches, a cappuccino, read the paper, and caught up in the online world.  Unfortunately due to the amount of time it took me to find my haven, I had only 20 minutes before work to relax, instead of an hour and a half.  Still, I thank Ready Lunch (and Zuba, despite their current tech problems) for being sufficiently up-to-date.

It baffles me how many cafes in Hobart do not offer wireless internet for their customers in this day & age.  It’s easy enough to set up.  Perhaps the cost is daunting?  But I would be inclined to say that there are many people like me who would be willing patrons – students, businesspeople, tourists, the market of internet users is growing larger every day.  Many people nowadays have either a laptop or a wireless internet-capable device such as an iPod touch, iPhone, or other smartphones.  A cafe which offers wireless internet is a very attractive prospect for the tech-addicted generation of today, and for someone like me who carries their iPod touch with them everywhere, a cafe with mediocre food but which offers wi-fi will be chosen over the cafe next door with great food but no internet.  This morning when I needed the internet, I almost chose McDonald’s (shudder!) who have free wi-fi, over somewhere with decent food.  (I say almost!)

If cost is a problem, a deal or even a small charge can be made to use the wi-fi service.  Places like Zuba offer 15 minutes free internet on their computers or 30 minutes on your own device with any purchase over $3.  I’d be willing to pay an extra couple dollars to get some internet with my coffee. What with this revenue & the extra business having wi-fi would bring into your cafe, it’s got to be worth it.

So this is a callout to Hobart businesses, especially the trendy cafes who pride themselves on good coffee & good food that brings in the customers – if you don’t want to lose business with tech-savvy customers to McDonald’s, (!) try providing wireless internet for your customers.  Bring Hobart up-to-standard with the bigger cities in this respect, because we already excel them in a lot of other ways.  Come into the 21st Century – the water’s fine!

It’s an incredibly comfy place, whether you’re there to eat or use the net.  I went there this afternoon, feeling in low spirits.  By the time I left I felt so much better.  It’s just a happy place to be!  The staff who served me were so friendly & enthusiastic, and my odd request for half an iced chocolate (I can never really get down a full one…) was not met with grumpiness or strange looks at all.  Refreshing!

I had a chicken burger, and man, if you’re after a burger this is the place to go.  They’re not greasy & limp, but aren’t unnecessarily full of pomp & “gourmet-ness” either.  They are simply DELICIOUS.  I could wax lyrical for hours about how perfectly, gently crisped the bun was, how juicy and high-class the chicken was, etcetera.  You can just tell that they don’t use shitty, cheap ingredients to keep costs down.  They make these burgers to be good and they are GOOOOOD. Oh, and they’re a great size too!  Definitely worth the $10, unlike a lot of overpriced food one can find around town.

Technology-wise I must also mention that Drifters have both Mac & Windows-running computers to chose from, which earns a big tick from me, as well as other neccessities/luxuries that other internet cafes. And I must mention little dish of jellybeans on the counter, with a spoon provided so that you can take one (or two)!

To top it off I bought a hedgehog slice as I left.  What I mistook to be icing on the top was actually what the entire thing was made of.  It was so delicious and still not overly rich!  Can these people do no wrong?

Drifters gets five out of five for being a rad, relaxed, friendly place with awesome food.  Thanks for making my mood a lot better  guys

UPDATE: The salmon foccacia thing is TO DIE FOR.  Seriously.  Do it.  You won’t regret it.
I also recommend the lemon slices.  And the Organic Cola – proper cola taste, not too fizzy, not too sugary.

You may or may not know me. Either way, I have an opinion.  Lots of them, in fact.  As do you.  This is what blogs are for, no?  Expressing our opinions.  Usually, no one cares.  Unless of course, your opinions have something to offer them.

Here is what my opinions can offer you:  The same thing you look for when you look up movie reviews, book reviews, restaurant reviews, website reviews, music reviews.  The difference is, I do them all, and all in the same place.  And not from the point of view of some hoity-toity, pants-on-too-tight professional critic.  No, these reviews are by someone who is interested in good films, good food, good music, good books, and good design, and someone you might identify with (or even find vaguely amusing).  So, sit back, relax, have a search through the tags & categories to find something you’re interested in – and be sure to let me know your own thoughts, too!

Happy consuming!

Bec T.